Tools for Taming Bridezilla: A Guide for the Bride-to-Be

Tools For Taming Bridezilla

Planning your wedding is a difficult task, and it is common for brides to become overwhelmed and anxious during this stressful time. When problems crop up, you might be tempted to unleash bridezilla on an unsuspecting public. But adhering to the following guidelines can help keep you sane (and human):

Know what you want. This piece of advice might seem like a no-brainer, but if you are not clear on what you want for your wedding, it will be impossible to communicate your preferences to others. If you are particular about your wedding—and most of us are—it is your responsibility to gather pictures and ideas that exemplify your taste and style. Once you have collected several clippings (via bridal magazines, wedding websites, etc.) paste them into scrapbook or keep them organized in an according file folder. If you prefer to keep your findings virtual, you can post ideas to a Pinterest board. (But don’t forget to make it a secret one to avoid spoiling any surprises you have planned for your guests!)

Don’t demand too much of your bridal party. Dresses and tuxedos can get expensive. If the vision for your wedding includes pricy attire, adjust your budget so that you can pay for half (or part) of the cost. Your bridesmaids likely have different financial situations. While one bridesmaid might easily absorb the cost of a designer dress, it could create a hardship for another.  Also consider this angle when you contribute ideas to the planning of your bachelorette party. Some brides desire lengthy, lavish affairs. If you are one of them, don’t be hurt if one or more of your bridesmaids are unable to attend. Bridesmaids with young children, demanding jobs, or unstable finances might not be able to swing out-of-state travel and lodging accommodations. Be sure to give your bridesmaids a sentimental gift to show just how much you appreciated all the time, money and effort they contributed to ensure you had the perfect day.

Have faith in the professionals. You’ve hired your vendors for a reason—probably because they have been recommended to you or have gotten positive reviews from other brides. During the meet and greet phase, be clear about what you expect from your service providers. Make a list for your photographer of what pictures you want taken at the wedding. For a live band or quartet, compose a list of songs you want played during the ceremony and reception. Then, once you impart your preferences to the professionals, avoid the urge to micromanage. Leave them to execute your plan, and with the extra time you’ll save, go have a spa treatment.

Delegate responsibility when practical. There are certain tasks in the wedding planning process that do not have to be done—or overseen—by you, the bride. Feel free to assign these to your bridesmaids, friends and family members that have volunteered to help out. For craft projects, provide your helpers with pictures or a set of directions from which to work. For invitations, throw a party during which you and your guests stuff and address envelopes. If you are short on time, you could also entrust a parent or best friend with the task of registering for gifts.

Get some perspective. By maintaining a healthy balance in your life, you can ensure that your wedding doesn’t become all-consuming. Make light of any shortcomings and exaggerate the successes. Look at the big picture: Your wedding will span, at most, a few hours. It is one day compared to the thousands you’ll enjoy during a lifetime of happiness with your spouse.

A wedding combines the efforts of many people. Odds are it will not be perfect. But by doing the necessary preparation and maintaining the right attitude, you—and those around you—will come out of the event unscathed. Most importantly, remember to have fun, as the bridezilla inside of you is more likely to remain in hibernation if you’re intent on enjoying the process. The wedding itself and the events leading up to it should be a positive experience, one that creates lasting memories for years to come.


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